Why do I bother going to Wal-Mart at all? I mean, seriously, is it the long lines, the Frogger-like gauntlet one is required to navigate between the entrance and your car, the snarling employees, the ever-present challenge of baskart bumper cars, the ever-changing selection, the pervasive stench of greed that permeates every aisle mocking Smiley face??
My latest boggle with Wal-Fart? The horror movie end cap.
OK, first of all, anyone sick and disturbed enough to conceive of the sadistic trash contained in movies like Saw or Hostel, much less driven and depraved enough to spend money, time and effort to create such misanthropic filth, should be locked away in their very own padded room for a long, long time. They clearly bear humanity ill will. They clearly have wicked imaginations. You could almost charge them with criminal intent! They are, in a word, sickos!
But I don’t have to watch this psychopathic filth if I don’t want to, right? Right! And I don’t.
But Wal-Fart has made darned sure that I get to expose my kids to end caps with bloodies, disturbing, grotesque, twisted and, yes, graphic, displays which advertise the latest demonic gore fest. It’s not just the DVD covers, which are bad enough. Usually, there is a large sign or cardboard display giving us an eyeful on a larger scale. I know why. To let gore fans [aka closeted psychopaths] know that this wonder cinematic masterpiece is available for their depraved enjoyment.
But it’s me, with my little boy, who has to wait in Wal-Fart’s interminably long lines when suddenly we’re ambushed by the end cap from hell! It’s me who has to hide his eyes, who has to explain it away if he catches a glimpse of these glorious advertisements, who has to hold him when he wakes up screaming from nightmares inspired by these hideous displays. This, in a world where we have to cover up Cosmopolitan like it is Playboy or Hustler, because advertisers have no sense of decency or restraint.
Of course, neither Wal-Mart nor advertisers have a conscience where the chance to make a buck is concerned.